Have a RhyPiBoMo Wednesday!

Welcome to Rhyming Wednesday!

I am thrilled with the participation on the blog and in the Facebook Group! You are all so generous with your comments and in sharing wonderful resources for the rest of us!

Writers are the best! Really !!

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*I wish I could help but unfortunately all the RhyPiBoMo Critique Groups are closed as of last Saturday.

So, if you are still in need of a group click the tab above that says “NEED A CRITIQUE GROUP”

Read and follow all the directions.

You will be on your own to find a group but this will allow you to connect with others who also want to join a group.

Please do not ask a question about critique groups in the comments as I am not able to help with this process due to time limitations and the amount of comments posted.

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So, without further ado, I’m honored to present today’s

Golden Quill Guest Blogger

Rebecca Kai Dotlich

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Rhypibomo Guest Blogger Badge        Rebecca Dotlich 1

Rebecca was so kind to call and ask what she should write for RhyPiBoMo. We tossed around a number of topics, but ultimately decided to share a wonderful blog post she wrote for Julie Hedlund’s 12 X 12 back in August, 2013. This information was a perfect fit for RhyPiBoMo…no need to reinvent the wheel here! She kindly sent a short note with her thoughts on writing rhyme…

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The note from Rebecca…

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A note to those trying to get into the children’s publishing world:
If writing is your passion, if you are dedicated and you work hard at your craft, don’t let anyone or anything discourage you enough to quit. I have always said, and still do, I would have written until the day I died. I would still be trying.
Publishing is the gold, the prize, the tip of the journey, but it isn’t THE journey. Writing is the journey; learning, getting lost in story and words, and working at your craft day after day, year after year.
BTW: Remember that most editors and agents discourage writers from writing and submitting rhyming picture books because they see so much that isn’t written professionally and with a good sense of meter and rhythm and most of all — those same manuscripts most likely incorporate forced or inverted rhyme.
But if you are trying to break in with a rhyming picture book, and you’re fairly certain you’ve conquered these obstacles, go for it! And keep going for it.
The most true TIP I have to offer: Read stacks of books in the genre you want to write. Rhyming picture books?
Read all the newer ones on the bookstore shelves — and all the traditional tried and true ones from the library shelves. Then read them again.
Then type them out and look at the text without illustrations.
Then read them again.
Then read them again.
Then read them again.

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And now, Rebecca’s blog post…

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FAR FROM THE SEA AND THE SALT IN THE AIR
Or
Using Poetic Devices to Create Picture Books

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The title of this post is a line from Barbara Cooney’s MISS RUMPHIUS. It is also a perfect line to demonstrate lyricism and the use of poetic devices found in picture books.

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These few words strung together make music; “. . . far from the sea and the salt in the air.” They also spark our imagination, and give an aura of wonder and mystery. This line could have been much less poetic. It could have been written like this: “She left home and went to live in another city that was miles away from the ocean.” That would have been a well-written line. But it just doesn’t evoke the same feeling.

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Often, writers mistakenly think alliteration is simply a succession of the same first letters of two or more words placed side by side on the page. And in an honest attempt to try and nail this poetic device, will mistakenly go for the neon-lighted-here-I-am-am kind of alliteration. (Robo the raccoon cooked creamy carrot soup.)

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In the example above, the f in far and from are indeed side by side on the page, but they fit there seamlessly. There are many ways this line could have been written. (A long way from, Out from, Away from, etc.) But joining the word far with from makes this line sing. It seems like such a simple thing. And often it is. And it’s what works.

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Same with the s in sea and salt. Still using the s but replacing shore for sea, you notice it doesn’t have that same poetic ring, that lyrical quality. Far from the shore and the salt in the air. Just isn’t the same, is it? Proving that all alliteration is not created equally. Sea and salt. Shore and salt. Listening to your word choices and lines aloud, over and over and over again, is the best way to determine if you have made the right choices. If not, it’s back to the drawing board.

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There are thousands of examples similar to this, of course. As you read through stacks of picture books you will discover them. You can’t ask for better teachers than the books themselves. There are brilliant articles and educators that will dive in and come out with a much better roadmap for a post like this than I can. But this is my roadmap, and I am, no doubt, trying to simplify a complex subject. But here are a few thoughts:

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As you craft your picture book, keep in mind all the tools and poetic devices at the ready; imagery, personification, metaphor, repetition. Rhyme and rhythm are two very important poetic tools, but by far not the only ones. As you are writing your picture book, listen to the sounds of the words. Remember that something lovely and lyrical (like the Cooney example, above) is only one way of adding a poetic feel to your picture book. Be aware of these poetic tools as you write, but not focused on them. And whatever you do, don’t demand your muse to use them all.

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Write sentences that flow organically, or seem to. They won’t really flow organically of course, but the goal is to make it look that way. The reader wants to feel like he isn’t stumbling or tripping over rhythm that is off, rhyme that is forced into a corner, or language that is so lovely-contrived, it ends up being jarring to both tongue and ear.

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Children love wordplay (palindromes, anagrams, spoonerisms, etc.,) but they also love to play with words (fascinating words, difficult words, clever, whimsical and silly words.) Dabble in the playground of fanciful and unexpected. Noodle in imagery; pull words from the magical pot called imagination. (Some people call it Thesaurus.) In truth, it’s both. And remember that every word counts. Every. Word.

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Rebecca Dotlich 2

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My rhyming picture book WHAT CAN A CRANE PICK UP? (Illustrated by Mike Lowery, Knopf, September 2012) began with one poetic device; repetition. I didn’t consciously do it, it just happened like most ideas: driving in the car, my grandson (then about 6 or 7) and I were talking as he pointed out construction sites, highway work, a crane lifting a concrete barrier:

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Ian: Can a crane pick up a crane?

Me: It sure can.

Ian: Can it pick up a truck?

Me: Yep, a truck too. (And then, being silly). . . and a truck, and

a truck, and a . . .

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And he laughed. (You had to be there.) And we proceeded to name all the things cranes might pick up. And we were making a book. We kept repeating it as we went, so we wouldn’t forget our collection of ideas. A part of the text reads like this: “. . . Watch as cranes with chains and hooks lift cartons and cages and library books! See the cranes with slings and straps lift cuckoo clocks and baseball caps.”

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I point this out to make a few points. The alliteration of cranes, cartons, cages, cuckoo clocks and caps would have been too much without the other words popped in to cushion them. This is only decided after many drafts and many readings aloud. The word cuckoo? I had a long list of clocks. Tower clocks and alarm clocks and mantel clocks and many more. I actually didn’t choose cuckoo for its alliteration. I chose it because it is fun to say. The addition of rhyme for this book came after the idea, after the loose use of repetition, and after the list of things a crane can pick up. I decided to layer it with rhyme after a straight prose approach didn’t seem playful enough to me.

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Rebecca Dotlich 3

Rhyme can engage the young child like nothing else. But the rhyme must be good, natural, easy. Never forced. What is forced rhyme? Many writers ask that. The answer is simple. An end rhyme must complete the thought the way you want it to, must express the idea you are truly trying to get across to the reader, not in a convoluted, these-two-words-rhyme, kind of way.

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The two picture books I highlighted here are as different as night and day. One is a lyrical, wondrous beauty of a picture story book. The other is a whimsical rhyming romp about a construction machine. Both are picture books, and both use poetic devices. One to tell a story, and the other to engage and entertain the child in a playful way.

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Children, and especially very young children, are enchanted by rhythm, rhyme and repetition. They almost feed off of predictable language patterns, being entranced by the sound of the words, the cadence of the line, and the delicious knowledge that they are exactly sure what’s coming next. Being able to chime in to jump rope and nursery rhymes, song lyrics, prayers and cheers has always been, and will always be, one of life’s purest joys. Lines from picture books do this too, and can they ever. From the youngest babe to the elderly grandfather, who doesn’t love to repeat the words to a poem or song they know, or once knew, or will forever know in the vault of their heart.

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Bio:
Rebecca Kai Dotlich grew up in the Midwest exploring trails by the creek, reading comic books, making paper dolls and building snowmen. She is a children’s poet and picture book author of titles such as Bella and Bean (an SCBWI Golden Kite Honor) and What Is Science? (Subaru SB&F finalist and Bank Street’s Best Book of the year.) She gives poetry workshops, visits classrooms across the country, and speaks at conferences, retreats, libraries and schools to teachers, aspiring writers and students of all ages. Her books have received the Gold Oppenheim Toy Portfolio Award as well as an IRA Children’s Choice and her work has been featured on Reading Rainbow and the PBS children’s show Between the Lions. She is the grandmother of four. Rebecca still reads comic books and builds snowmen. WHAT CAN A CRANE PICK UP? (Illustrated by Mike Lowery) received a *starred* review from Publisher’s Weekly. Following WHAT CAN A CRANE PICK UP? is ALL ABOARD! forthcoming in fall 2014.

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Rebecca Dotlich 4

 

Please enjoy this book trailer for What Can a Crane Pick Up?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkNoQ6TcVDs

 

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 Thank you Rebecca Kai Dotlich!

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RhyPiBoMo Daily Lesson: Wednesday April 2nd

By Angie Karcher © 2014

Lesson 4

 

First of all, this is a VERY long post so please don’t get overwhelmed…The rest of the posts will not all be nearly this long. I wanted to share the lyrics of several songs and that made it very long!

 

 Ballad

Folk ballads are the oldest type of poetry known. Traveling storytellers would often set stories to music, thus the ballad was born. Many older ballads are by anonymous authors as they were not written down but passed verbally from person to person. For this reason, there were many versions of the same story as each storyteller gave the story their own personal touches. Most ballads were about bravery, love, death and dark, depressing subjects.

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There are certain distinctive features that make up a ballad. It typically describes a dramatic event, has lots of action, but told in a simple way. Ballads were written by the working man for the working man to commiserate their difficult lives as laborers and hard-working folks. I found this ballad written by my favorite storyteller, James Taylor.

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This ballad, Millworker, is from a book titled WORKING by author Studs Terkel that was later made into a Broadway show. James Taylor wrote and performs this song titled Millworker.

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Studs Terkel

 

The Lyrics to Millworker by James Tylor

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/james+taylor/millworker_20069194.html

James Taylor

Mr. James Taylor 

My favorite storyteller! If you ever get a chance to see him in concert…Do it!

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Here is a Youtube Link to Millworker by James Taylor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=vg2D714gn2w

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Often a ballad has a repeating refrain.

 

A Ballad is …a narrative poem, often of folk origin and intended to be sung, consisting of simple stanzas and usually having a refrain. (Write this down)

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Now that you are really depressed after reading about the “Millworker,” I’ll share a few ballads that are a bit more uplifting. Yankee Doodle is one such ballad. We sang it as kids and teach it to kids today but even Yankee Doodle has a dark side.

I highlighted the lyrics in hot pink because it was written and sung by British troops in the mid 1700’s to taunt and make fun of Colonial troops about how femininely they dressed. The British thought that the Colonial soldiers were foolish, uneducated, unsophisticated men that spent too much time watching horse racing and socializing. Their clothing and floppy, feathered hats gained them the name “Macaronis” and was the source of teasing that inspired this “not-so-nice” ballad. Who knew?

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Yankee Doodle

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Yankee Doodle Lyrics Author Unknown

A       Yankee Doodle went to town

B      A-riding on a pony,

C       Stuck a feather in his cap

B       And called it macaroni.

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         Chorus:

A       Yankee Doodle keep it up,    

B       Yankee Doodle dandy,

C      Mind the music and the step,

B       And with the girls be handy.

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A       Father and I went down to camp,

B       Along with Captain Gooding,

C       And there we saw the men and boys

B       As thick as hasty pudding.

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      Chorus

A       There was Captain Washington,

B       Upon a slapping stallion,

C       Giving orders to his men-

B       I guess there were a million.

Rhyme Scheme is the pattern of rhymes used in a poem, usually marked by letters to symbolize corresponding ending sounds. (write this down)

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Yankee Doodle is written in a common ABCB Rhyme Scheme. This means that each line gets a letter that correlate with the ending words that rhyme to determine the rhyme scheme. If the ending words rhyme, those lines are given the same letter.

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A-Town

B-Pony

C-Cap

B-Macaroni

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These are the ending words in each line. Town doesn’t rhyme with anything so it gets the letter A by itself.

Pony and Macaroni rhyme so they both get the letter B

Cap doesn’t rhyme with anything so it gets the letter C by itself.

This rhyme scheme is ABCB.

Throughout the rest of the poem each stanza follows this scheme.

Yankee Doodle is written in 4-line stanzas.

A Stanza is a Rhyming pattern that forms a group (write this down)

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Another ballad you probably know is Clementine. This seems an obvious sad story written during the 1849 Gold Rush about a miner and his daughter. It is actually a humorous ballad written in a tongue-in-cheek style, making fun of the typical drama that accompanies most ballads. For example, Clementine’s feet are so big she has to wear boxes for shoes. Clementine managed to get a splinter in her toe and drown as her father didn’t know how to swim. So Clementine is a humorous, tragic ballad.

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Clementine

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Clementine Lyrics Author unknown

A       In a cavern, in a canyon,

B       Excavating for a mine

C       Dwelt a miner forty niner,

B       And his daughter Clementine

                  Chorus

A       Oh my darling, oh my darling,

B       Oh my darling, Clementine!

C       Thou art lost and gone forever

B       Dreadful sorry, Clementine

 

A       Light she was and like a fairy,

B       And her shoes were number nine

C       Herring boxes, without topses,

B       Sandals were for Clementine.

Chorus

A       Drove she ducklings to the water

B       Ev’ry morning just at nine,

C       Hit her foot against a splinter,

B       Fell into the foaming brine.

Chorus

A       Ruby lips above the water,

B       Blowing bubbles, soft and fine,

C       But, alas, I was no swimmer,

B       So I lost my Clementine.

Chorus

A       In a churchyard on a hillside

B       Where the flowers grow and twine

C       There grow roses amongst the posies

B       Flowers for my Clementine.

Chorus

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A Youtube Video of Clementine by Lew Dite on his Ukelele

http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=RDRUzQy4mmT3Q&v=RUzQy4mmT3Q&feature=player_detailpage

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Some Ballad Resources:

http://www.mahalo.com/how-to-write-a-ballad-poem/

http://www.creative-writing-now.com/how-to-write-poetry.html

http://www.kirstymurray.com/mktblues/wrtpen/Ballads.gif

 

 

So why do we need to know about ballads? Because…they are easy to remember because of their rhyme and rhythm. Remember yesterday when we talked about how rhyme helps kids to remember words and parts of language? Well, when you sing a poem, a ballad, it helps you to remember the words. Music is a clue that helps us remember the words to the poem, or song.

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Plus, ballads are one of the earliest and most basic forms of storytelling. That is what we do. We are storytellers and can certainly learn from those who used music to capture their audience. Plus, Yankee Doodle was written in the 1700’s and Clementine in 1849. I hope someday a story I write is remembered, recited and discussed by writers 150 – 200 years from now!

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Cinquain [sing-keyn]

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A Cinquain is a stanza with five lines and each line has a required number of syllables.

2-4-6-8-2 syllables (Write this down)

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So, you may be wondering why I have plopped cinquains down so early in this process of learning about poetry? Ballads were a pretty straight forward concept and easy to understand their origin and why they are still enjoyed today.

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It’s time to get out of your comfort zone! We are going to jump right into the icy water with our clothes on! 1-2-3…JUMP!

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It’s because I want you to start really evaluating every word when you read a poem. Look for patterns, rhythms, syllables, rhymes, meanings, etc. The word cinquain sounds intimidating, as will many of the other words we learn. But, that doesn’t mean the concepts are hard…just new.

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It was developed by Adelaide Crapsey who probably borrowed the idea from Haiku. It is not difficult once you first, know what it is and second, know how to write one. Writing a cinquain is about following the rules. In fact writing poetry and rhyme is all about following the rules. All we have to do is learn the rules, write them down, glue them into our brain and then…follow them.

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The key to understanding a traditional cinquain is finding the syllable count. The beats-per-line is the syllable count. Clap your hands every time you hear a different vowel sound (A-E-I-O-U) of a word.

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Examples:

1 syllable    (Dog)

2 syllables   (Kit—ten)

3 syllables   (Cu—cum—ber)

4 syllables   (Wa—ter—me—lon)

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When counting the syllables in a line, you can count syllables in multiple words. For example: Upon a starry night

6 Syllables  (Up—on—a—star—ry—night)

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The rules of a cinquain are about the syllable count allowed in each line.

line 1 – 2 syllables

line 2 – 4 syllables

line 3 – 6 syllables

line 4 – 8 syllables

line 5 – 2 syllables

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Here is an example of a well-known cinquain.

November Night

By Adelaide Crapsey

2        Listen…

4        With faint dry sound

6        Like steps of passing ghosts,

8        the leaves, frost-crisp’d, break from the trees

2        And fall.

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Notice these lines don’t rhyme. Remember when I said earlier that rhyme is really a small part of writing poetry? Well, now we are diving into the chilly water of BOM, BOM, BOM…THE NON-RHYMING ZONE!

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I want you to stop thinking about rhyme for a while and completely focus on everything else about the language. Read, hear, see, smell, taste and touch the words used. We will get to the rhyme later but for now, trust me and just follow the rules.

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Here is my first attempt at writing a traditional cinquain.

2        Sleeping.

4        My eyes are shut,

6        My brain won’t go to sleep.

8        The story doesn’t want to keep.

2        I’m up!

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Here’s Another

2        Lucy,

4        A dachshund kiss.

6        Her wagging tail, a smile,

8        Tilted head with begging banter.

2        A treat!

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This wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be, but it was fun! There are many, many other more contemporary forms of cinquains that are written by many poets today. They have very strict rules and can get complicated quickly but if you follow the rules, one line at a time, you can do it! I found that the examples given were a huge help. To me, this is like doing a word search or a crossword puzzle. I love the challenge!

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Contemporary Cinquain

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Contemporary Cinquain Rules:

Use the same rules about syllables as for traditional but add the rules on the left as well.

 

One word title                                                                                 2 syllables

2 adjectives that describe the topic                                           4 syllables

3 words that express action                                                         6 syllables

4 words that express a feeling                                                     8 syllables

1 word that refers to the title                                                       2 syllables

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                                                                                                                      TOTAL 22 syllables

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My first attempt at a contemporary cinquain:

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Summer

Heated, desired

Melting winter sorrow

Gentle yearning for the morning

Sunshine                                                                        22 Syllables

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Another example:

FRIENDSHIP

Friend/ship

Pre/cious, awe/some

Bright/ens gloom/y mo/ments

Rain/bow’s treas/ure trove dis/cov/ered

Al/ways

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Some Cinquain Resources :

http://www.poetry4kids.com/blog/lessons/how-to-write-a-cinquain-poem/

http://ettcweb.lr.k12.nj.us/forms/cinquain.htm

http://hrsbstaff.ednet.ns.ca/davidc/6c_files/Poem%20pics/cinquaindescrip.htm

 

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As I read over this post, I hope I’m not over explaining. Remember, I’m a kindergarten teacher by trade, and I’m used to working with 5 year olds. I apologize if anything sounds condescending or too simplified. As we have writers here of all experiences and abilities my hope is to keep things as simple as possible. Also, each blog post will hopefully stand alone as a lesson so if I repeat words or concepts that is the reason…plus repetition may help us remember better.

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I know this was a long post but we had a lot to cover and hopefully, the examples help to explain. We are still alive after jumping into the frozen waters of poetry but even though we might be shivering and shaky, we will live to see another poem. Stay warm! Spring is here…right!?

                                                                                                                  ~Angie

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Writing Prompts:

Write a short ballad about participating in RhyPiBoMo. Oh…the sorrow!

Write a Traditional Cinquain

And if you are feeling really brave write a Contemporary Cinquain

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Okay, now do everything else on the pledge for today and don’t forget to comment on today’s blog post!

 RhyPiBoMo Pledge

Please comment ONLY ONE TIME below for a chance to win today’s prize!

Prizes will be drawn by Random.com next Sunday for the previous week.

To be eligible for a prize you must be a registered participant and
comment after each days lessons.

 

 

114 thoughts on “Have a RhyPiBoMo Wednesday!

  1. I love your simple lessons, Angie, and plan to take notes on them all! I celebrated my final chemo infusion today with this attempt at a contemporary cinquain:
    Chemo
    Healing poison
    coursing through my body,
    killing fast-growing cancer cells
    and hair.

    • Thanks for all your good thoughts! The surgery and treatment has gone really well, and I’ll follow up with radiation and be good to go! I may even have a little hair when I greet my new grandson due this summer!

  2. OK, trying not to panic…my attempt at a Cinquain…

    Mountains
    Icy, jagged
    Climbing steeply upwards
    Soothing all troubled thoughts away
    Silence

  3. I do not mind a post that’s long
    especially when it includes a song.
    However, I’m tempted to complain
    about needing to write a cinquain.

    Just joking. I love cinquains. I’m off to write mine.

  4. Phew! So much to learn but I am so glad you were a kindergarten teacher Angie for I need that magical repetition. Such an enlightening blog from Rebecca, thanks for the clear explanation of ‘alteration’. My book for today will be ‘What can a Crane Pick Up’.Thank you also for the lesson Angie and the clear and precise explanation of ‘Cinquain’. I am off to write my ballad and my Cinquain now…not sure we will still be hearing them in 150years from now though!

  5. Being from Maine, “Miss Rumphius” is one of my favorite books. (It always leaves me with a tear, because it reminds me of my mother.) Here’s a Maine cinquain I just wrote-

    Morning
    Damp and misty
    Lonesome foghorn bellows
    Swishing waves on dewy pebbles
    Daybreak

  6. I like learning something new. I’ve done traditional cinquains with fourth graders often, but never knew about the syllable rule. I used them in science to help them express concepts while teaching parts of speech. I wonder how many fell close to the syllable requirements from a sort of default manner of the word type requirement. Thanks!

  7. I love ballads and am actually attempting one to be critiqued. What–am I crazy? We’ll see. Thanks, Rebecca for the great post about lyrical language. You gave wonderful examples and explanations. Off to write! Thanks!

  8. The Clementine ballad made me think of the time we were visiting my dad in assisted living several years ago when my daughter was 9 or 10. My dad would sing part of a line from a song and have my daughter full in the blank. He sang, “Oh my darlin’, oh my darlin’, oh my darlin, ….” And she replied, “Calvin Klein.”

  9. Wow! This was a terrific lesson, Angie! And I also loved Rebecca’s post. Reading this was a great way to start off my day!

  10. wow now I am challenged! off to do a sestina I mean a cinquain and maybe bed to rest my brain, slapped my fingers for that rhyme that wasted all my precious moments (You thought I would type thyme didn’t you my little herbalist) moohahaha indeed. Thank you Alayne

  11. Writers are persistent souls, and a FB error does not stop us. It’s not like this our first rejection letter. But more important – Each lesson is more magnificent than the last. Thank you!
    Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

  12. I paraphrased Rebecca’s advice to “write for the journey” in my notes – it helps ease the pressure. I’ve loved ballads every since my older brother sang them as I watched him milk cows in the early mornings of my childhood. As he sang them I never once thought he was doing a chore. They were magical.

  13. Wow – not only my beloved Miss Rumphius but ALSO Sweet Baby James? What a heavenly post! I’m inspired and off to work on an April cinquain.

  14. Wow! Being very new to poetry and the world of rhyme, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your posts. Thank you for pointing out in specifics what these styles mean and what their rules are. I am by nature a rule follower so knowing the rules is the first step. Thank you so much for these great lessons. Hugs. T.

  15. Such great stuff – wrote a cinquain ABOUT cinquains. Not exciting – but I think it works okay!

    Cinquain
    short, poetic
    rhythm, meter, language
    pretty, soothing, flowing, done quick
    Poem.

    My ballad is pretty silly – NOT sharing it here. So enjoyed this post!!

  16. I loved Rebecca Kai Dotlich’s piece. I’ll be looking for ‘What Can A Crane Pick Up?’ Also, great idea to include James Taylor’s ‘Millworker’ in the lesson on ballads today. So many good things to think about.

  17. Angie, this post was not too long, it was “just write!” I adore James Taylor and love Rebecca’s story of inspiration about cranes! Inspiration is everywhere!

  18. What a wonderful post. Such a treasure trove of information. I’m off to write my ballad and cinquain. I loved all your great examples ( ❤ James Taylor). I must admit, though, I'm not really sure of the difference between traditional and contemporary cinquain. The answer is probably staring me in the eye…but I don't see it. Thank you!

  19. My first 2 chiquains were terrible, but then I wrote this one & I think it’s not bad. I have a hard time folloiwing the rules…

    Jacket
    So soft and warm
    Feathers creeping out of holes
    Reminds me of someone long gone
    Forlorn.

  20. Thanks, Angie – I’ve never tried a cinquain before. It will be fun to explore new forms through this challenge.

  21. Love what we’re learning.

    Grandkids
    Active, vocal
    Always wanting something
    Seeing myself over again
    Adore

    (Can you tell it’s spring break with little visitors?)

  22. Loved Rebecca’s close analysis of Barbara Cooney’s line–why alliteration worked, and what would not have worked as well. And her charming story of the origin of her crane book! Off to finish a cinquin.

  23. I notice that Clementine has some sentences that seem like they’re flipped around. Everyone says that good rhymes flow naturally, but many “classic” rhymes have flipped sentences. Why is it considered such a big no-no?

  24. Two thoughts: I love it when someone says “write this down!” I never miss an important thought that way. AND The amount of information and quality of the information and references in this workshop are beyond excellent. I am learning so much! thank you

  25. From Deborah’s sublime cinquain – to my ridiculous one.

    Crapsey,
    Achy, coughing,
    Longing for distraction!
    Tincture of time and a cinquain?
    Relief!

    Many thanks from the seclusion of my sick bed – cough cough cough.
    Linda

  26. Thanks, Angie, for the great examples. Rebecca’s post was wonderful too. I wish I could say the same about my attempted ballad and cinquain.

  27. Poems
    Tasty tidbits
    Drinking, slurping, gobbling
    Gorging upon this decadence.
    Content.

    Oh, Angie- what a fun subject- what a great post!

  28. Thank you Rebecca. Even your post had the most lovely language – I was in awe!
    And Angie, thanks for the lesson on the cinquain – I wrote my first and I liked it! (Katy Perry in the background) 🙂

  29. WOW!!! When I read the first sentencies about the cinquain I thought OMG… I am not gong to be able to do it…
    But a shower helped ☺ Now I think I have my first. I am off to write it down before it flies away. Thanks!!!!!!!!
    I might have found in cinquains the kind of rhyme I needed for my PB!!!

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