Rhyme Revolution 2017 Day 20 ~Asia Citro of The Innovation Press ~ Rhyming Picture Book Submission Request
Month: April 2017
Rhyme Revolution 2017 Day 19 ~ Bobbie Hinman ~ Self-Publishing a Rhyming Picture Book
These award winning rhyming picture books
are written by Bobbie Hinman
Self-Publishing a Rhyming Picture Book
by Author Bobbie Hinman
“What do you mean you’re going to start a publishing company?
You can’t do that!”
That’s what I heard when I announced to my friends and family that I was going into the publishing business. Let’s face it—self-published books are often held to a higher standard than those from traditional publishers. The market is flooded with indie books, many of which, I’m sad to say, are of inferior quality. Now, add to the equation the desire to write and publish a rhyming children’s book and the plot thickens (pun intended).
When writing a rhyming book, whichever way it is published, it’s important to remember that the major aspects of writing for children hold true no matter whether the stories are written in prose or in rhyme. However, if you choose to self-publish, you, and you alone, are responsible for overseeing every aspect of the creation and production. First, and of utmost importance: You must produce a quality book! But before you can do that, you must have a good story. Before that, you must have a good idea. And before that, you have to know what children like and how they learn. In other words, you have to think like a child and write like an adult. So, how do children think? Here are a few thoughts to guide you:
Children are:
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Excited when good things happen to the characters
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Self-centered, enjoying stories that relate to them
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Emotional, often falling in love with story characters
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Living in the present, unable to relate to stories that span too long a time period
Children love:
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Illustrations with bright colors
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Happy endings
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Relatable descriptions, such as “soft as a kitten”
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Adjectives, especially funny ones, such as “a hurly-burly monster”
And:
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Children love rhymes!
Yes! Children love rhyming books and are often able to memorize a rhyming story after hearing it just a few times. They also love to guess the last word of a rhyming line. Often, when reading to a class of kindergarten children, I will read a line from my book, such as “When evening comes and you turn off the light, it’s time to climb into bed for the ______.” I pause and let them fill in the word “night.” They are always very proud of themselves.
Remember: The basic story creation is the same whether you are writing in prose or in rhyme. After you have your idea, you need to create a character with whom children will identify and a compelling story that has a beginning (the character and situation are introduced), a middle (the storyline progresses) and an end (resolution to the situation). If these elements are missing, the story is incomplete. That is why I always write my story in prose first, then create the rhyme. If a rhyming book has lovely rhyming text, but no story, children won’t “get it.” However, on the other hand, if the story is wonderful, but the rhyming is “off,” that is just as bad. Poor rhymes can be as annoying as fingernails on a chalkboard. The words must really rhyme; you can’t force it. If words don’t rhyme, they don’t rhyme! Then, there’s the rhythm. The rhythm pattern should be consistent throughout the book. A rhyme without rhythm doesn’t work. Sometimes simply adding or deleting one or two extra syllables can make a huge difference, but you really have to be able to feel it. If you are having difficulty with your own rhyming and rhythm, remember my advice: A story written in good prose is much better than one written in poor rhyme.
Do your homework first. Read lots of rhyming books. See what children are reading. Then think like a child, but write like an adult.
Bobbie Hinman has a B.S. degree in Elementary Education. The combination of her teaching experience and time spent with her thirteen grandchildren has given her insight into the way children think and the stories they love to read. Bobbie has been a speaker and presenter at numerous schools, libraries and book festivals all across the United States and in Canada. Her 5 rhyming picture books have received a combined total of 25 children’s book awards. In her new book, How to Create a Successful Children’s Picture Book, Bobbie tells you how she self-published and sold over 50,000 copies of her books. Her picture books are titled The Knot Fairy, The Sock Fairy, The Belly Button Fairy, The Fart Fairy and The Freckle Fairy. The premise of her books is simple: Who better to blame it on than a fairy? You can see more about Bobbie and her books at http://www.bestfairybooks.com
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Rhyme Time with Angie ~ THERE WAS AN OLD DRAGON WHO SWALLOWED A KNIGHT by Penny Parker Klostermann
Today we are celebrating
THERE WAS AN OLD DRAGON WHO SWALLOWED A KNIGHT
by Penny Parker Klostermann
This was the Best in Rhyme Award Winner for 2015!
Spend a few minutes listening to Penny read this story
and then…learn how to make your own dragon game!
Click HERE to hear Penny read
THERE WAS AN OLD DRAGON WHO SWALLOWED A KNIGHT
at the KidLitTV Studio!
Click HERE for the Rhyme Time craft
Make your own dragon game!
Right click, copy, paste and print the template above.
HERE are more ideas for dragon fun on Penny’s website.
Want to purchase this adorable book?
Buy it Now!
I’m excited to share some good news…
I’ve been offered a craft segment on KidLit TV called
KidLit Crafts with Ms. Angie!
I’m so excited to work with Julie Gribble and the KidLit TV team!
Watch for more info coming soon!
Rhyme Revolution 2017 Day 17 ~ Diana Murray ~ Revise Like a Pirate!
Ned the Knitting Pirate
by Diana Murray
Illustrated by Leslie Lammle
2016 Best in Rhyme Award Honor Book
By Diana Murray
Illustrated by Heather Ross
2016 Best in Rhyme Award Top 10
Congratulations Diana!
See the Top 20 Best in Rhyme Books for 2016
Revise Like a Pirate!
By Diana Murray
So you’ve finished your rhyming picture book manuscript. The words seemed to pour out onto the page straight from your heart. Ah, what a magnificent draft. How you admire it. Tis’ a thing of beauty. Now…stop being a lilly-livered landlubber and get yer cutlass ready! Time to revise like a pirate!
Remember the Arrrrrr’s of a good story:
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Rhythm: Picture books are usually meant to be read out loud. One reason I like writing in meter is that it gives the text a song-like quality. When you set the meter, it gives the reader a nudge to read with a certain rhythm. Reading your own story out loud can help ensure your rhythm is smooth. As a second step, have someone else read your story out loud and see if anything trips him/her up. Rework problem spots until your story can set sail smoothly. For example, a couplet in NED THE KNITTING PIRATE originally read: “The pirates were a rugged lot—as fierce as they were strong./And one day, as they swabbed the deck, they sang this pirate song:”
My editor thought that sounded bumpy. When I read it myself, I put a lot of stress on “one”, so it sounded OK to me. But a few crit partners mentioned the issue as well and I didn’t want any pesky barnacles slowing down the story. So I simply changed it to: “The pirates were a rugged lot—as fierce as they were strong./And as they swabbed the deck one day, they sang this pirate song:” It was a small tweak, but it established the rhythm more clearly, keeping things moving along regardless of individual pronunciation.
Avast!
Just because you want the meter to scan clearly doesn’t mean you should let things get monotonous. Does every line end with a period in the same place? Are you using any enjambment? Are you varying the way you break up your lines? Using substitutions can also help. For example, even though NED is written in iambic meter (ba/DUM), I sometimes eliminate the first unstressed syllable, like this: “The whole crew turned and stared at Ned. The ship was deadly quiet./“Yarrrh,” said Ned. “I likes to knit. Ye might too if ye try it.”
One reason I think it works in this case is that the first line has a feminine ending. That is, it has an unstressed syllable at the end (“QUI/et”). So omitting an unstressed syllable before “Yarrrh” doesn’t feel jarring.
Having variation like this is a bit more of an advanced technique. You can just go with your gut and see what feels right. If you want to read more about the technicalities, here is a good article (I personally found it extremely helpful): http://learn.lexiconic.net/meter.html
Another way to vary the rhythm (although less common) is to include poems within poems. For example, in NED, the pirates sing sea shanties. I set these off in a different meter (anapestic, ba/ba/DUM) from the rest of the writing: “We’re pirates, we’re pirates, out sailing the sea./We do what we likes, and we likes to be free.”
On a side note, these lines are also “headless”. That is, I omitted the first unstressed syllable at the start of the line, so that the rhythm is, ba/DUM ba/ba/DUM ba/ba/DUM. When I began writing many years ago, I always wondered why I was driven to eliminate the first unstressed syllable in anapestic meter. After some research, I discovered that it’s commonly done because it better mimics natural spoken language.
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Rhyme scheme: Pick a rhyme scheme and stick with it. But never let the rhymes commandeer your story! Story always comes first. You don’t want your rhymes to sound twisted or unnatural or to scream “mutiny”. Also, be aware of using only obvious rhymes. It’s fine to rhyme house with mouse and bee with tree, but including some surprising rhymes (or simply multi-syllabic rhymes) can add interest and punch to the story.
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Repetition and Refrain: It’s sometimes useful in a story to have an event/action happening over and over again. In NED THE KNITTING PIRATE, Ned keeps trying to change the words to the pirates’ sea shanty and is met with disapproval from the Captain each time–thus building tension. You can also consider using a refrain, a repeated phrase that children can join in on, thus enhancing potential for a fun read aloud. And just like rhythm, the refrain can have a bit of variation to keep things from getting boring. In my story the pirates keep singing a song but the lyrics change slightly.
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Rest: Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a break from your manuscript. Why not throw down anchor for a while? Write something else, take a walk, drink some grog. I wrote a first draft of NED in 2010. I liked the concept, but the story didn’t feel quite right. There wasn’t enough conflict and the ending wasn’t satisfying. I couldn’t make it work. After some initial crits and attempts to revise, I finally set it aside. I didn’t look at that manuscript again for close to two years! With fresh eyes, suddenly everything was clear to me. It was almost like reading a manuscript that wasn’t my own. I started relentlessly revising without hesitation, making filler words, story tangents, and so-called “darlings” walk the plank!
I hope this helps you revise like a pirate. Oh, and don’t forget to give your story a nice, strong hook! Yarrrrrrh!
Diana Murray grew up in New York City and still lives nearby with her husband, two very messy children, and a motley crew of pets. Diana’s poems have appeared in children’s magazines such as Highlights, High Five, Spider, and Ladybug. Diana is the author of children’s books including CITY SHAPES, NED THE KNITTING PIRATE, GRIMELDA THE VERY MESSY WITCH, GROGGLE’S MONSTER VALENTINE, DORIS THE BOOKASAURUS, and many more. http://www.dianamurray.com
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Rhyme Revolution 2017 Day 16 ~ Helen Docherty ~ Rhyme Schemes
The Story Book Knight
Written and Illustrated by
Helen and Thomas Docherty
2016 Best in Rhyme Award Top 10
Congratulations Helen and Thomas!
See the Top 20 Best in Rhyme Books for 2016
Rhyme Schemes
By Helen Docherty, author of The Snatchabook
and The Storybook Knight
I’m going to start with a confession: I never actually set out to write in rhyme. The first stories I wrote were in prose. But when the idea for The Snatchabook came to me – and it came pretty much fully formed – the story itself seemed to dictate that it should be written in verse. I knew that I had to create an atmosphere of suspense and mystery, and to draw the reader in from the very beginning of the story. Writing in rhyme seemed an effective and natural way to achieve this.
One dark, dark night in Burrow Down,
A rabbit called Eliza Brown
Found a book and settled down…
When a Snatchabook flew into town.
This opening 4-line stanza is written in monorhyme (the last word in each line rhyming with all the other last words) for a specific purpose; to foreshadow the events of the story and to link the two main characters, Eliza and the Snatchabook (who will, of course, eventually become friends). The first and fourth lines introduce an element of suspense, suggesting to the reader that something scary is about to happen. The middle two lines, in contrast, present an image of cosy domesticity; however, the fact that they are enclosed by the first and fourth lines warns us that Eliza’s bedtime routine is about to be disrupted. Monorhyme should, in general, be used sparingly (to avoid becoming tedious), but it can be an effective device in the right place.
The rest of The Snatchabook follows the more conventional AABB rhyme scheme:
In every house, in every bed,
A bedtime book was being read.
Tales of dragons, spitting flames;
Witches, playing spooky games;
Pirates, on the seven seas;
Princesses, trying to sleep on peas.
From a personal perspective, I find this rhyme scheme (and meter) quite lulling – suitable for a bedtime story. It seems to encourage a slow reading, with each line being savoured. Of course, the pace can be upped for moments of high drama:
She threw the window open wide
And shouted to the Thing outside:
“Stop stealing all our books, right now!
Just give them back, I don’t care how!”
Within the constraints of a rhyme scheme, you can always try to surprise the reader with an unexpected rhyme. For example:
[And so, the Snatchabook began]
To give back all the books he’d picked.
Eliza Brown was very strict.
Incidentally, in the original (UK) version, I’d used ‘nicked’ – a colloquial British term for stolen – rather than ‘picked.’ Some words get (literally) lost in translation!
The Storybook Knight (which was in the 2016 Best in Rhyme Top 10 List) employs a different rhyme scheme (ABAB, or alternate rhyme):
Leo was a gentle knight
In thought and word and deed.
While other knights liked fighting,
Leo liked to sit and read.
I find this rhyme scheme more conversational and a little jauntier than AABB, so it felt more suitable for the story of Leo, forced to undertake a quest by his pushy parents. I particularly like the way that the final rhyme in each 4-line stanza can deliver a punchline, or subtly subvert the rest of the verse:
One morning, Leo’s parents said
They’d like to have a chat.
There was nothing wrong with reading,
But he couldn’t just do that!
They’d seen an ad that morning
In their favorite magazine.
A dragon needed taming!
Leo wasn’t very keen.
When I start writing a new story, there is often a particular rhyme (and not necessarily the first) that comes into my head, and which then dictates the rhyme scheme of the book. For example, when I had the idea for Abracazebra, the story of a goat who is jealous of the zebra who arrives in his sleepy village and starts performing magic shows (to everyone else’s delight), I started with just two lines:
Abracazebra? I smell a rat.
You can’t trust an animal with stripes like that!
As the story took shape, new lines grew around the original two, which actually come about two thirds of the way through the story:
So he started to whisper in people’s ears,
Conjuring up their darkest fears:
“Abracazebra? I smell a rat.
You can’t trust an animal with stripes like that!
You don’t see stripes on a pig or a cow…
…So why should we welcome stripes here now?”
Like The Snatchabook, Abracazebra follows the AABB rhyme scheme, but with more syllables in each line. Sometimes, it can be fun to add a twist to a rhyme scheme. My latest rhyming story, You Can Never Run Out of Love (out September 2017) is written in a simple ABAB rhyme scheme, but with a refrain that follows a different pattern, with an internal rhyme (call it CCD). Here is an example:
You can run out of time.
You can run out money.
You can run out of patience,
When things don’t seem funny.
BUT…
You can never (no never, not ever)
You can never run out of LOVE.
By breaking with the original rhyme scheme and introducing a refrain, the central message of the story is reinforced, and the key word (love) is given its own, un-rhymed status. When reading the story aloud to elementary school children, I’ve found that they naturally join in, saying the word ‘love’ at the end of each refrain; and I think that the rhyme scheme encourages them to do this.
Finding the right rhyme scheme for each story can be tricky, but it’s also fun and ultimately satisfying, as is finding the right words to rhyme. Good luck if you are writing your own rhyming story!
Before becoming an author, Helen used to teach Spanish and French. She also has an MA in Film and Television Production. Helen has lived and worked in France, Spain, Cuba and Mexico, and now lives in Swansea, Wales, with her husband, the author and illustrator Thomas Docherty, and their two daughters.
Her first rhyming story, The Snatchabook (illustrated by Thomas Docherty), has been translated into 17 languages. In 2014 it won an award voted for by school children. It has also been staged as a play and even as an opera, by a school in Canada.
The Storybook Knight (2016) is Helen and Thomas’s latest book together. Helen’s next rhyming story, You Can Never Run Out of Love (illustrated by Ali Pye), is coming out in September 2017.
Website: www.helendocherty.com
Twitter: @docherty_helen
Facebook: @HelenDochertyAuthor
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Congratulations
Week 3 Prize Winners
Monday – Patti Richards – GOOD NIGHT, BADDIES by Deborah Underwood
Tuesday – September Cardiff – LEONARD’S BEARD by Nancy Cote
Wednesday – Mary Warth – THE RHINO WHO SWALLOWED A STORM by LeVar Burton and Susan Schaefer Bernardo
Thursday – Susan Schade – ROCK-A-BYE ROMP by Linda Ashman
Friday – Linda Evans Hofke – SUN KISSES, MOON HUGS by Susan Schaefer Bernardo
Thank you for reading the blog posts and commenting daily!!
I will stick these in the mail next week. I have your addresses via registration.
Thank you to the authors and publishers
for these generous book donations!!
Rhyme Revolution 2017 Day 15 ~ Eric Ode ~ Repetition
By Eric Ode
Ilustrated by Kent Culotta
I Will Repeat Them in a House. I Will Repeat Them with a Mouse.
by Author Eric Ode
It’s an off-balance feeling. That sensation that comes with international travel, when we’ve put ourselves in a place where the language, sights, and customs are unfamiliar. The street signs, the storefronts, the conversations on the sidewalk… Nothing looks or sounds quite like we expect. Then, when the familiar does come along – a Starbucks in Rome or an English-speaking pedestrian in Cusco – it jumps out with the intensity of a spotlight.
Familiarity grounds us. Comforts us. Gives us confidence. I think this helps explain why repetition is such a powerful and effective element in picture books – and in rhyming picture books especially. While a story’s vocabulary, setting, and characters might be new and confusing, repetition provides the child with something reassuring.
Think about that child you know who learned to “read” Green Eggs and Ham before they could read Green Eggs and Ham. It didn’t take many bedtimes with Sam and his floppy-eared friend before “I will not eat them with a…,” was tucked in that child’s back pocket like a shiny pebble.
Or consider the enthusiasm that erupts from the story time circle when the librarian shares Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. The children know that line is coming. They expect and look forward to it. And when it does, they join in with pep rally enthusiasm.
Repetition works! Repetition, whether the child knows it or not, is often what makes one particular story a favorite, the book a child goes back to again and again until Daddy is ready to hide it under the couch.
So how and where do we put repetition to work in our own writing?
For starters, pages can open with a repeated line. Several pages in Anna Dewdney’s Llama Llama Red Pajama begin with the book’s title.
Repetition can roll around someplace in the middle of the stanzas like in Ogden Nash’s The Adventures of Isabel. (“Isabel, Isabel didn’t worry, Isabel didn’t scream or scurry.”) This repetition builds a framework for the story, like the repeating beams of a skyscraper.
Of course lines of repetition can wrap up a page. (All together now! “I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am.”) There’s Patricia Thomas’ “Stand Back,” Said the Elephant, “I’m Going to Sneeze!” (“Oh, please. Don’t sneeze!”) Or one of my favorites, Reeve Lindbergh’s There’s a Cow in the Road. (“Then the cow looks at me, and the cow says, ‘Moo!’ And the next thing I know, there’s a ______ there too!”)
In their delightful I’m a Dirty Dinosaur, Janeen Brian and Ann James take the last line of each stanza and repeat it in a chant-like fashion.
I’m a dirty dinosaur
with a dirty snout.
I never wipe it clean.
I just sniff and snuff about.
SNIFF, SNIFF, SNUFF, SNUFF, SNIFF AND SNUFF ABOUT!
Placed at the end of a page, repetition can build anticipation. What’s going to happen next?
Repetition can be scattered about the story like splattered paint on canvas. My own Too Many Tomatoes repeats the title seven times over the course of the story, sometimes at the beginning of a stanza, other times in the middle or at the end.
Still other books – Eric Carle’s Brown Bear, Brown Bear, for instance – are built almost entirely upon repetition.
Do you have a rhyming picture book manuscript that’s feeling less-than-grounded? Three words: Repetition, repetition, repetition. When it comes to picture books, familiarity does not breed contempt but contentment.
Eric Ode is the author of ten picture books including the rhyming picture books Dan, the Taxi Man; Busy Trucks on the Go; and Too Many Tomatoes (Kane Miller Books) and Bigfoot Does Not Like Birthday Parties (Sasquatch/Little Bigfoot Books). A multiple award-winning songwriter for children and a former elementary teacher, Ode travels throughout the country sharing his stories, poetry, and music at schools, festivals, and education conferences. Visit www.ericode.com.
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Rhyme Revolution 2017 Day 14 ~ Nancy Cote ~ Birth of a Story
Leonard’s Beard
Written and Illustrated by Nancy Cote
2016 Best in Rhyme Award Top 20
Congratulations Nancy!
See the Top 20 Best in Rhyme Books for 2016
Birth of a Story
by Nancy Cote
Leonard’s Beard, was destined to be written in rhyme. On the day the seed for the story was planted in my mind, the wind was blowing hard. It was a beautiful, sunny, Fall afternoon and my husband had just come home from work. He entered through the door in my studio. The wind caught the door and slammed it against the wall. A powerful gust of wind entered the room blowing my notebooks and folders to the floor. My two dogs scrambled to get to them before I could.
One of the folders that contained photos I had taken of my neighbor Leonard in his writing studio, spilled out under trampling dog feet. As I distracted the dogs and gathered the pictures up from the floor, my husband asked if I’d gotten to rake any leaves in the yard. I guiltily answered no, as I continued sorting the photos and placing them back into a folder titled “Leonard.” Glancing once again at the photos, I started to smile and my mind began racing. I thought about the leaves I hadn’t raked and mentioned to my husband with a laugh, that I didn’t have to rake. The leaves would all find their way to the bottom of the hill and into Leonard’s yard anyway. At that moment, the thought expanded. I imagined if Leonard was standing outside in his yard, that whatever would blow downhill just might land in his beard. Since my eccentric neighbor wore a large red beard, everything might get caught and trapped in that beard. I literally felt the rhythm of the day bouncing in my head as the first line of the story was etched in my mind. “Below a great hill, in a house by a bog, lived a writer named Leonard, his dogs, and a frog.” It was the rhythm of the day, and in that moment, I didn’t choose a writing style as much as the rhyme chose itself.
There was no question that this stormy story sang a song. The story of a writer who loses his direction, then finds it due to a wind storm, blew into my imagination and was set free on the wings of rhyme.
Leonard’s Beard, is essentially about living in the moment and not losing sight of what’s important to you. Through joyful language and pictures it reminds us that it doesn’t have to take a wind storm to be yourself, but sometimes it helps!
I’ve written eight picture books and three of them were written in rhyme. I believe that instinctually you know through the characters, subject matter and intent of the story, what style of writing will compliment that story. Like a symphony, music is intended to convey a mood, and I believe writing style does the same.
If you allow yourself to be free of overanalyzing and controlling, the expression will come naturally. That is the magic.
Nancy Cote, an award winning Children’s Book Author / Illustrator, has illustrated over forty picture books and has written eight of her own.
Her stories, illustrations, paintings and poems have been featured in many exhibits, collections and children’s magazines throughout the U.S. She is currently earning International recognition for three picture books she illustrated for Ariella Books of Berlin, Germany.
She was featured at the University of Southern California Book Festival having illustrated the first three books of the ReadConmigo award winning series of bi-lingual books and is a full member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. Currently she is being represented by the Liza Royce Agency in NYC.
Nancy earned a B.F.A. in Painting at U. Mass, Dartmouth and worked part-time in the children’s department of the Swansea Library for sixteen years, until she ventured out as a freelance author/illustrator with the encouragement of her husband Mike, and her family. She works full-time from her home studio in the historic village of Somerset, MA.
twitter @nancycote31
Facebook: Nancy Cote
SCBWI > members-public > nancy-cote
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Rhyme Time with Angie ~ Ned, The Knitting Pirate by Diana Murray
Today we are celebrating
NED, THE KNITTING PIRATE
by Diana Murray
Spend a few minutes listening to Angie read
NED, THE KNITTING PIRATE
Then…learn how to make your own pirate eye patch!
Click HERE to hear
NED, THE KITTING PIRATE
Click HERE for the Rhyme Time craft
Make your own pirate eye patch!
Copy and paste above for the template or click HERE for the free clip art Skull and Cross bones.
HERE are more ideas for pirate fun on Diana’s website.
Want to purchase a few of Diana’s books?
Buy it Now!
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Buy it Now!
Watch for more Rhyme Time
every Wednesday in April.
Check out more National Poetry Month Challenges for Libraries, Classrooms and Families HERE.
Librarians, teachers, parents and kids…please comment below
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Rhyme Revolution 2017 Day 12 ~ Rebecca J. Gomez ~ Poetic Techniques in Rhyming Picture Books
Hensel and Gretel: Ninja Chicks
by Corey Rosen Schwartz and Rebecca J. Gomez
Illustrated by Dan Santat
2016 Best in Rhyme Award Honor Book
Congratulations Corey and Rebecca!
See the Top 20 Best in Rhyme Books for 2016
More Than Rhyme: Using Poetic Techniques in Rhyming Picture Books
by Rebecca J. Gomez
There’s something special about a good rhyming picture book. When you read it, the words roll off your tongue in a rhythmic cascade, making it a real pleasure to read aloud. But there is more to a good rhyming picture book than its flawless meter and rhyme.
What makes a rhyming picture book more than a good story that rhymes is the way the author uses language. When an author uses poetic techniques beyond rhyme and meter in the text, it becomes less like a rhyming story and more like poetry.
Here are some ways that you can use poetic techniques to make your rhyming picture books truly shine.
Assonance, consonance, and alliteration. Using these in your writing is like sprinkling your manuscript with “ear candy.” When used well, these poetic techniques add fun and flavor to your text.
Internal rhymes. These can be delightful surprises, like the cream filling in cupcake!
Check out this example from TEENY TINY TOADY by Jill Esbaum for an example of alliteration and internal rhymes:
Brothers tumbled, bumble-jumble,
as they stumbled for the door.
“Don’t you worry, kid. We’ll save her!”
Off the seven toadies tore.
(TEENY TINY TOADY also has a lot of fun onomatopoeia.)
Onomatopoeia. These little words and phrases can show a lot with just one word! Consider the words pop, scritch, or bang. Each of them gives you an impression of something happening behind the sound, such as a balloon bursting, a fingernail scratching, or a door slamming shut.
Repetition. Using repetition in your writing can build tension, create emphasis, or encourage young readers to anticipate what is coming.
Simile and metaphor. Both of these devices will help you be concisely creative. A well-placed simile or metaphor can affect mood, describe a setting, or evoke an emotion. In the following example from HENSEL AND GRETEL: NINJA CHICKS, the metaphor is used for humor:
The fox said, “Surrender?
No way, chicken tender!”
Emotive language. This is what I think of as showing while telling. Using the right words to tell WHAT is happening can serve double duty by eliciting an emotional response. Word choice is key; think beyond the literal. Consider this line from WHAT ABOUT MOOSE?:
He spotted and jotted down
all imperfections
while marching around
doing careful inspections.
The phrase “marching around” shows Moose’s state of mind as he’s inspecting his friends’ work.
Imagery. Your words are meant to paint a picture. In a rhyming text, your goal should be to create an image in your readers’ minds using the fewest words possible. It’s often the surprising, clever combinations of simple words and phrases that evoke the most vivid pictures! Consider this stanza from BEAR SNORES ON by Karma Wilson:
An itty-bitty mouse
pitter-pat, tip-toe,
creep-crawls in the cave
from the fluff-cold snow.
Do you see the tiny mouse sneaking into the cave? Can you see the fluffly snow and feel the chill? All of this was accomplished with very few brilliantly used ordinary words (and a few other poetic techniques as well).
I encourage you to read a lot of rhyming picture books, and make note of the various poetic techniques employed in each. Are there any that work especially well for you? Any that seem overdone? Then put poetic techniques into practice in your own picture book manuscripts!
Rebecca J. Gomez is the coauthor, along with Corey Rosen Schwartz, of two rhyming picture books, WHAT ABOUT MOOSE? and HENSEL AND GRETEL: NINJA CHICKS. When she’s not writing or reading, she enjoys working in her art journals, hiking through the woods, and hanging out with her family. She lives in Nebraska with her husband, three kids, two poodles, and one parrotlet.
twitter (@gomezwrites)
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Rhyme Revolution 2017 Day 11 ~ Deborah Underwood ~ Musicality of Words
Goodnight, Baddies
by Deborah Underwood
Illustrated by Juli Kangas
2016 Best in Rhyme Award Top 10
Congratulations Deborah!
See the Top 20 Best in Rhyme Books for 2016
Musicality of Words
by Deborah Underwood
For many years, I sang with a chamber choir that performed new compositions. This was a joy—and sometimes a challenge. On occasion, we’d sing through a newly-composed piece for the first time and it would be obvious that the composer was used to writing for instruments, not voices.
The giveaway? The word stresses and the musical stresses didn’t align, making the text difficult to sing.
If you tap out the musical beats while singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” you’ll see that the beats line up with the accented syllables of the words. Because of this, singing the song is natural and easy:
ROW, ROW, ROW your BOAT, GENT-ly DOWN the STREAM
Now substitute text that has the same number of syllables but different stresses. You might get this:
ROW, ROW, YOUR boat GENT-LY down THE stream, OH!
Try singing that gracefully!
When text stresses and musical stresses align, a song flows. If I have an ear for rhyme, I suspect it’s partly due to my years of singing in choirs. I’ve internalized rules of rhythm and word stress by singing well-set texts for decades.
Good lyrics can teach us a lot about writing good rhyming picture books. You don’t need to be a singer to benefit: all you need to do is read a libretto, or study a well-written song, or go to a musical.
When I was around 10, I saw my first Gilbert and Sullivan show and was delighted by the text’s cleverness. In The Mikado, the ruler has decreed that anyone caught flirting will be beheaded. A town official explains:
This stern decree, you’ll understand,
Caused great dismay throughout the land!
For young and old
And shy and bold
Were equally affected.
The youth who winked a roving eye,
Or breathed a non-connubial sigh,
Was thereupon condemned to die –
He usually objected.
Even without knowing the music, you can hear how this verse dances. (The playfulness is also a big selling point for me. In another song, they are forced to keep coming up with rhymes for “executioner”—my favorite is “Don’t blame me/I’m sorry to be/of your pleasure a diminutioner.” Silly!!)
Another treasure trove: the songs of the British duo Flanders & Swann. Here’s a link to one of my favorites, Ill Wind, for which they took the music of one of Mozart’s horn concertos and added their own text:
For Ill Wind click here
And of course many Disney musicals have fabulous lyrics. Who can resist Beauty and the Beast’s “Gaston” and its classic line “I’m especially good at expectorating”—take that, all you folks who think we need to simplify vocabulary for kids. Or have a listen to one of my favorites, the soaring “Out There” from The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
And Hamilton! There’s a whole four-year self-study course in rhyme and rhythm right there.
If you’re musically inclined, try writing (or borrowing) a melody and singing your picture book text to see how it flows. You can even go a step further: after I finished Good Night, Baddies, I wrote and recorded a lullaby based on the text. It was a fun addition to the book trailer and a nice freebie download for readers.
For Lullaby click here
So when you’re looking for mentor texts, by all means read rhyming picture books. But stretch your feelers farther, too—there’s a lot to be learned from our talented colleagues in the music business.
And if you think this means you can write off your Hamilton tickets, you won’t get any argument from me.
Deborah Underwood is the author of numerous picture books, including Interstellar Cinderella, Good Night, Baddies, and the New York Times bestsellers Here Comes the Easter Cat, The Quiet Book, and The Loud Book. Her upcoming books include Super Saurus Saves Kindergarten (June) and Here Comes Teacher Cat (August). She lives in Northern California with her feline muse, Bella. Visit her online at DeborahUnderwoodBooks.com.
To participate in Rhyme Revolution:
Read the blog post and comment below
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Congratulations
Week 2 Prize Winners
Monday – Kirstine E. Call – Copy of MARY HAD A LITLE GLAM by Tammi Sauer
Tuesday – David McMullin – Copy of A FAIRY FRIEND by Sue Fliess
Wednesday – Nadine Poper – Copy of HENSEL AND GRETEL NINJA CHICKS by Corey Rosen Schwartz and Rebecca J. Gomez
Thursday – Jill Proctor – Copy of HEY,COACH by Linda Ashman
Friday – Mona Pease – Copy of MONSTER TRUCKS by Anika Denise
Thank you for reading the blog posts and commenting daily!!
I will stick these in the mail next week. I have your addresses via registration.
Thank you to the authors and publishers
for these generous book donations!!
Angie Karcher 