Welcome to
RhyPiBoMo 2015 Day 11
Pat Zietlow Miller
*
Today’s guest blogger is a writer that is on fire! Not unlike the Hunger Games heroine…trust me, when you get to the bottom of this post and see all the books she has coming out in 2015, 2016 and 2017 you will want to be Pat Miller! I love her picture book SOPHIE’S SQUASH and can’t wait to own the rest. There is something so magical about these heartwarming themes that her books have that make you want to go back and read them again and again. She has obviously figured out the magic potion to writing for kids and I am happy to have her sprinkle some of that
magic on all of us today!
I am pleased
to introduce
Pat Zietlow Miller
*
Now is the Time for Humorous Rhyme
*
I’m in awe of well-done rhyming picture books. When the rhyme and plot and emotional arc are spot on, they are a work of art. In fact, when I read books like ALL THE WORLD, HURRY DOWN TO DERRY FAIR, BLUE ON BLUE and ONCE UPON A MEMORY, I hold them near to my heart.
Books like this were among the ones that inspired me to try my own hand at rhyming. I remember thinking, “Well, if it doesn’t work, I don’t have to show it to anyone.” And then, I spent months tapping the beat and counting syllables and reading my work out loud, trying to make things just as smooth and perfect as possible.
I know I didn’t achieve perfection, but I did sell two rhyming picture books – WHEREVER YOU GO (coming April 21 from Little, Brown) and SHARING THE BREAD: AN OLD-FASHIONED THANKSGIVING STORY (coming Aug. 25 from Schwartz & Wade).
But one thing I have not yet attempted, much less mastered, is the art of a humorous rhyming picture book. Because if you can write awesome, heart-holding rhyme and also be funny, you are golden. Absolutely golden.
So let’s look at an author who glitters brightly, Jill Esbaum.
Jill has written several funny rhyming picture books – ESTELLE TAKES A BATH and TOM’S TWEET come to mind. I strongly suggest you read them at the first available opportunity. But today, we’re going to talk about I AM COW, HEAR ME MOO, which was published in 2014 by Dial Books.
It’s the story of a cow named Nadine who brags that she’s not scared of anything. When her friends call her bluff, Nadine finds herself in the woods at night. And she’s surprised to find it’s fascinating. Not scary at all, until she gets overconfident, loses her friends, thinks something is chasing her and runs straight off a cliff.
Here’s what makes this book a rhyming success story:
Plot
If your rhyming book is telling a story (as opposed to being a lyrical poem) it needs to have a plot just as strong as non-rhyming books. That means an initial incident, rising action, climax, falling action and denouement. Jill’s book delivers.
Nadine and her friends explore the scary woods, get lost in a cave, discover bones, race through the woods, run right off a cliff and land in a pond before finally stumbling home.
A good way to see if your story has a plot is to write it out in prose. Yes, that takes extra time, but it’s worth it. Read your prose version and see if there’s enough action and intrigue to sustain a reader. If there isn’t, you have work to do.
Another tip is to write a one-sentence summary of each of your stanzas. Then read your summary sentences in order. Do a lot of them sound the same? Are they very vague and general? If so, you need to amp up your plot. Also, read your one-sentence summaries to see if your plot happens in the right order. It’s easy to get your stanzas out of order.
*
Word choice
There’s a lot of cow humor in Jill’s rhyme. Nadine is so scared her milk curdles. Her friends tell her to “Moooove it!” and when Nadine is finally home safely she “fell on her brisket and kissed the barn floor.” Make no mistake, working in the humor into the story’s meter and rhyme scheme is no small feat.
Jill also slyly pokes fun at Nadine’s overconfidence:
“Not lightning?” asked Starla. “Loud noises? A rat?”
“I’m not scared,” Nadine boasted, “of any of that.”
“The woods?” asked Annette. “Cause that place scares me stiff.”
“Not me,” bragged Nadine with a proud little sniff.
*
Of course, we come to find out Nadine may not have been completely truthful.
The other awesome thing about Jill’s word choice is how well her verse flow. It reads very conversationally. The rhyme is so good, you almost forget it rhymes. You never have to read it a certain way to make it sound right.
I know Jill, and sometimes, I can hear her voice when I read her words. Here are two of my favorite stanzas that show inspired word choices that still read seamlessly and are spot-on with the meter.
Like a rocket, she shot over brambles and bumps,
galumphed over deadfalls and rotted-out stumps.
She thundered through thickets, deep gullies, tight squeezes,
and ragweed that triggered spectacular sneezes.
And …
She took her sweet time checking out every nook.
This cranny? That corner? Nadine had to look.
Her tour of the cave-den was almost complete …
when a small pile of bones made her heart skip a beat.
“Ta-da!” Nadine sang. “Here I am, girls. Let’s go.”
Were her friends waiting there where she’d left them?
Um, no.
Now, writing like this is not something you can crank out without a lot of work.
Les Paul, a songwriter who helped pioneer the solid-body electric guitar, once said, “You can’t go to the store and buy a good ear and rhythm.” This is true. Some people have more of natural gift for how words sound than others. And Jill is certainly part of that group.
But anyone can get better by reading good rhyme, understanding why it works and then working to make their own as good as possible. So read on, write on and then … rhyme on.
*
*
About Pat:
Pat Zietlow Miller is the author of SOPHIE’S SQUASH (which does not rhyme) and WHEREVER YOU GO (which does). She’s won the Golden Kite Award and received the Ezra Jack Keats New Writer Honor and the Charlotte Zolotow Honor. Pat has eight books under contact, two of which rhyme. You can learn more about her at http://www.patzietlowmiller.com.
*
Look at ALL these books!
SOPHIE’S SQUASH from Schwartz & Wade, available now
WHEREVER YOU GO coming from Little, Brown, April 21, 2015
SHARING THE BREAD coming from Schwartz & Wade, August 2015
SOPHIE’S SEEDS, coming from Schwartz & Wade fall 2016
THE QUICKEST KID IN CLARKSVILLE coming from Chronicle in 2016
MY BROTHER, THE DUCK, coming from Chronicle in 2017
WIDE-AWAKE BEAR coming from HarperCollins in 2017
BE KIND, coming from Roaring Book in 2017
*
*
BUY HERE BUY HERE BUY HERE
*
Twitter: @PatZMiller
Website
Golden Kite speech
RhyPiBoMo 2015 Optional Writing Prompt: 11
*
This is NOT part of the pledge. It is an option for a writing exercise for those interested. You will not publically share this as part of RhyPiBoMo but may keep a journal of your writing this month for your own review.
Today’s writing prompt is to write a humorous rhyming poem.
*For example:
Words Out-Going
The web that was spun by the spider so free,
was hung in a corner, not from sea to sea.
The mouse that ran through my house, oh, so quick,
he didn’t have buttons on top that you click.
The home that I knew was where I slept at night,
not the page that comes up with icons at right.
A snail and the mail were two separate things.
Now it’s something the mail lady brings.
When I was printing-on-line while at school,
my handwriting followed every rule.
The keyboard played music I practiced each day,
and surfing was done on a wave with a spray.
“Yahoo” I yelled, sledding down slopes so slick.
A virus was what made me puke and feel sick.
Software and boots were pjs and shoes.
A port was for docking the boat on a cruise.
Mosquitoes left mega bytes on both of my legs.
The menu I liked was with bacon and eggs.
Troubleshooting meant you had really bad aim,
and cd’s were letters which after B came.
The desktop I knew was piled high with my stuff,
and files were for filing a nail that was rough.
The Sunday drive we took every week,
was the chat that we had; we did actually speak!
I don’t know when everything got so confused.
The language I knew is forever abused.
These words will never have meanings the same.
I suspect that this thing with the screen is to blame.
© 2015 Angie Karcher
*
Golden Quill Poetry Contest
The Golden Quill Poetry Contest will accept entries STARTING April 13th and the deadline is April 25th midnight Central Time.
*
PLEASE make sure you read the contest rules and follow them exactly. Unfortunately, due to the number of poems we will receive, a poem will be disqualified if it does not follow the guidelines exactly. This is only fair to those who did follow the rules and is good practice for us as writers because editors expect those guidelines to be followed to the letter.
*
Contest Rules:
First and Last name included in the body of the email at the top left
Email address included in the body of the email at the top left
Phone number – top left
Space down 5 spaces
The Theme is: Freedom
Title of poem – centered with no by line or name here
8 line limit
Must be a rhyming poem
You will be judged on clever title, rhyme scheme, rhythm, scansion, perfect rhyming words, internal rhyme, alliteration, consonance, assonance, onomatopoeia, and clever ending.
Submit poems to
Angiekarcherrpbm@gmail.com
by April 25th midnight central time
Do you enjoy writing rhyming picture books?
Do you find rhyme challenging?
Do you want to pep up your prose with poetic techniques?
Then this is the class for you!
Writing in Rhyme to WOW! is a 4 week course,
M-F with daily lessons, writing prompts, rhyme journaling, creating tools you will use, group poetry readings, webinars and critique groups, and a one-on-one webinar critique with Angie.
Each class begins on the first Monday of the month and the weekly group webinars are on Thursdays at 8:00 p.m. Central Standard Time, (Chicago Time) or at a time that best suits the group due to time zones of those involved.
There are only 2 spots left in May!
I am beginning to sign people up for June and July!
Contact Angie with questions.
Sign up now before the classes are full!
Click here for more information!
Need a critique?
Angie is now offering
rhyming picture book and poetry manuscript critiques.
She offers a One Time critique or a Twice Look critique.
See the tab above or click here for more information.
*A
Official RhyPiBoMo 2015 Registration ended on April 8th.
If you are not officially registered you will not be able to participate in the Golden Quill Poetry Contest, in Rhyming Critique Groups or will not be eligible for daily prizes.
To see if you registered in time go to the Master Registration List on the drop down menu under the RhyPiBoMo Blog tab above.
*
Angie Karcher 
Maria Marshall
Angie, you are so funny! I love your poem.
Thank you Pat for your enlightening evaluation of “I am Cow Hear Me Moo!” I enjoy that book almost as much as “Sophie’s Squash.” And I agree that Jill’s rhyme is so effortless and conversational. Definitely something to aspire towards. I can’t wait to read your upcoming books.
Rita Antoinette Borg
Pat i love your Sophie Squash. i read it 5 times already as a mentor text. Will be on the look out for your other books. I have also read your story to publication. It has been really inspiring for me. Thanks for all you do.
Comment from Cynthia Cheng: I was at the SCBWI Golden Kite Luncheon last summer when you gave your speech!
That’s cool! That was, by far, the biggest crowd I’ve ever spoken to
Great post! Writing humorous rhyming picture books is my goal… It’s certainly a challenge! – Al Lane
Elaine Hillson – A great post. Writing rhyming picture books with a healthy dose of humour is one of my aims. Thank you for sharing some of your thoughts on that. 🙂
Terrific post Pat, Thank you. Great example of humorous rhyme with ‘I am Cow’, which I just read this past week for the first time and thought it was beautifully done. The story flows so smoothly you almost don’t realize it’s rhyming.
Clark Haaland
P.S. I love ‘Sophie’s Squash’ and am looking forward to ‘Sophie’s Seeds’.
Thanks for the great post, Pat. Rhyme plus humor is a magical combination. I’m eager to see all your new books, I loved Sophie.
Daryl Gottier
Manju Howard: Thank you, Pat. Your post is very helpful. Last night, I read TOM’S TWEET and added it to my mentor text list.
Great point re “I don’t have to show it to anyone.” Thanks for the examples and the inspiration, Pat. Val McCammon
OMG! that cow book sounds hilarious. I read the post to my daughter and she said it sounds perfect for her friend (whose name is Nadine and whose family LOVES cows). So we will be ordering it for her birthday. Thanks!
Mona Pease Pat, Thank you. Humor puts the spice in our writing-rhyme is a great outlet for it!
So now I just want to have fun, so here goes….
Moose loves Goose
Mole in his hole
Bird let a turd?
This is fun. I can rhyme.
But my rhythm and beat says
better try mime!
(except I can’t keep my mouth shut long enough!!!)
Humorous poetry is so fun! Thank you for this post, Pat. Looking forward to reading your books. Lynne Marie Pisano
Ginger Weddle – Pat, Thank you for this great post! It is comforting to know that even you spend months “tapping the beat, counting the syllables, and reading out loud”. Your examples are are wonderful too! Thanks.
I LOVE SOPHIE’S SQUASH! I just read it this week and thought, “this is one very talented lady!” Thanks for joining us on the RhyPiboMo journey! – Marianne Gage (My apologies for all the exclamation points. I just couldn’t help myself.
Linda Schueler: I love Sophie’s Squash, and I am looking forward to reading your other books.
Hi Pat, Thanks for the wonderful exercises to check our plots. I especially love the one about writing a one-sentence summary for each stanza. I’m looking forward to putting this into action today. I absolutely love, love, love SOPHIE’S SQUASH and am looking forward to your upcoming books. As a farm girl, I found Jill’s book, I AM COW, HEAR ME MOO! to be delightful, too. Great post! THanks again 🙂 Rene` Aube
I also enjoyed Sophie’s Squash and look forward to reading your upcoming books, Pat. Thanks for the tips on writing humorous rhyme. I have to find Tom’s Tweet! – Sydney O’Neill
I love SOPHIE’S SQUASH! I’ve typed it out to study how and why it works. Harold Underdown uses this book as an example of what works in a revising picture book class I’m currently taking. Now I have to get my paws on Jill’s book. The title alone draws me in!
I was THRILLED that Harold Underdown chose to use Sophie’s Squash. And, if there were a stronger word than thrilled, I’d use it instead.
Terry Pierce–Great post, Pat! I’m looking forward to reading your new books and meeting you in July at the retreat!
Pat, Thank you for sharing your ideas and insight. I’m still smiling. – Judy Rubin
Maria Bostian: Pat, thank you so much for today’s post. I loved the quote by Les Paul. I’ve written in down so I can put it on my bulletin board of inspiration.
Congratulations on the books you have out and coming out over the next several years. What an exciting time!
Love, I AM COW, HEAR ME MOO! I read it last week, and it was so much to read. Plus, it was very funny, and I like the play on words like, “fell on her brisket and kissed the barn floor.” Thanks for a great post. I have read several of your posts on other websites, and I always leave them feeling like I will become a better writer because of what you said. I really appreciate it.
Thank you, Sandy! That’s really nice to hear.
Great post, today. And I’m a huge fan of “Sophie’s Squash!” 🙂 (J Buchet)
Rita Allmon– Thanks, Pat, for your wonderful post. I’m anxious to try writing the rhyming story in prose first and then checking the stanzas of the rhyming story with a one sentence summary per stanza. Great tips!
Appreciations from Jan Annino to Angie Karcher for her memory lane rhyming game. AND most especially to my Group Blog pal Pat. Who thought of this and that and more of this and more of that to toss much nourishing goodness into our rhyming with smiles storyhats.
Pat there is so much wunnerful in this article about Jill Esbaum’s mastery of the storytelling funny, rhyming p.b. Thanks for all the title recommendations – hers & yours.
And as for you – so excited for your many forthcomers and luv to munch on Sophie’s Squash.
You’re on fire!
This was a fabulous post. Pat, you are already one of my favorite authors, and I will make sure to own ALL of your books! I love the way you’ve broken things down in this post. I will definitely be studying Jill Esbaum’s books.
Melanie Ellsworth – My daughter and I both love SOPHIE’S SQUASH and look forward to reading all the other titles you have coming out. We also enjoyed I AM COW, HEAR ME MOO. I think it’s great that Jill Esbaum resisted making Nadine come clean in the end about what had really happened in the woods. I had actually forgotten that that was a rhyming book, which must be because the rhyme flowed so naturally (as you noted, too). Thank you for your very helpful analysis of the book. I will definitely try out your technique of writing a one-sentence summary of my stanzas to make sure my rhyming PBs have sufficient plot.
Kristi Veitenheimer – I just read Sophie’s Squash last night, Pat, and loved it. Thanks for a really great post. Angie, I absolutely love your poem today! So cute!
Joanne Sher adores Sophie’s Squash – and its author 🙂 Great lesson too – humorous rhyme definitely IS golden – and Jill Esbaum definitely has it. Thanks!
Thanks for the post. Action rhymes are my favorite, but tricky.
Katie Gast
Thanks, Pat! I love Sophie’s Squash, and can’t wait for Wherever You Go & the rest of your books!
Maria Gianferrari 🙂
Charlotte Dixon-Pat, I love Sophie’s Squash, and I look forward to the new books 🙂 Thank you for the tips and examples of ways to improve the plots in our stories.
Pat,
Thanks for the great post. Jill Esbaum is a fabulous writer. A marvel at rhyming. Can’t wait to read her books and best of luck with your books coming out this year and in the future. You’re post started a glimmer of an idea for me. Perhaps you and Jill will be a jump-starter for me. Thanks again for the inspiration.
I Am Cow Hear Me Moo is my favorite. The humor, rhyme, and story arc are spot on. Thanks!
Fabulous tips for fine tuning our rhyming. Thank you, Pat! I love Sophie’s Squash, by the way. It’s great to hear that we have a sequel to look forward to. 🙂
Sarah Harroff
Jill Proctor – Wow, that was a wonderful post. So helpful! I’m looking forward to reading your books, Pat!
Thanks, Pat! Great tips -I’ll use them as I toggle between prose and rhyme on my current WIP.
Mary Warth
Thanks Pat! I enjoyed all the examples in this post and I love Sophie’s Squash. I think I’ll read it again tonight…
Excellent analysis, Pat! Thanks! I plan to read that title again. I love the suggestion of summarizing stanzas, and have applied this to sections of prose, as well. Carrie Charley Brown
SUCH a great post, Pat! Can’t wait to read the rest of your books. Sopie’s Squash has become such a favorite. –Sadee Schilling
Thank you Pat. I like the ideas of writing out the story in prose, and writing a one-line synopsis of each stanza. I think that will really help me! I really love Sophie’s Squash – looking forward to your new books!
Shirley Johnson – Thanks for a great post! Looking forward to your new books.
Patricia Toht: Great tip, Pat, to write out the one-line synopses of each stanza. I’m a huge fan of Jill’s books and of yours. I’m especially looking forward to Sharing the Bread.
Thank you so much for the informative post! Brenda Huante
Rebecca Trembula – I’m going to check out I am Cow, Here Me Moo! Angie, love the computer tech poem!
I can’t wait to read your new books, Pat. I love Sophie’s Squash! Thanks for a great post.
Natasha Garnett
Sophie’s Squash is amazing! I wish I’d written it. Looking forward to your new ones, Pat.
Lori Mozdzierz:
Humorous rhyme doesn’t get better than that.
I love funny and I love rhyme so I positively loved today’s post. Thanks, Pat!
Pat Haapaniemi:
I really enjoy humorous rhyme! Can’t wait to those books again!